what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
Randomize
