Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
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