Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
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