I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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