Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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