i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
Randomize
