Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
Randomize
