it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
Randomize
