When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
I can't turn off my feet"
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
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