Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
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