Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
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