Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
