If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
Four minutes until I can fart!
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
Randomize
