but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
Randomize
