Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
she told me i tasted like america
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
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