thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
Randomize
