I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
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