well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
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