the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize