Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
Randomize
