it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
Randomize
