But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
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