She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
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