Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
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