yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
OPIZZABONMYDICK
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Randomize
