I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
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