A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
Is this like a preordered booty call?
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
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