would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
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