i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
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