oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
I am in a vortex of obligation.
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
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