I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
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