So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
Randomize
