she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
how drunk are you?
Several
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
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