Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Randomize
