I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Randomize
