I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize