She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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