y did u give ur computer a hand job?
I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
wow bdsm is so cute
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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