Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
