i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
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You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
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I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm