We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
Randomize
