UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
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The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
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And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
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