normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
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