The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
Man, jail baloney is awful.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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