Please don't use social media to get back at me.
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
Randomize
