Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
