Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
Randomize