return my video game
worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
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