If i come over, it means nothing
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
You left your underwear on the fireplace
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
