you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
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I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
COCAINE IS GR8
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
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