Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Randomize
