I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
Randomize
