Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
Randomize
