Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
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