Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
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