I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
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