idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
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I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
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The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
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