Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Randomize
