I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
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