apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
Randomize
