no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
