it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
